The Two Week Wait

In IVF world, they call it the "two week wait", even though it is really only 10 days. Online IVF forums are filled with people asking IVF veterans tons of questions about what happened during their 2WW. This has made me feel a whole heck of a lot less crazy over the past 4-5 days. I have joined the club of women in their 2WW who want answers to every little thing they feel or think they might feel.

It's a strange feeling knowing that something so incredible could be going on inside my body and I could feel absolutely nothing! A baby could literally be beginning to grow and I wouldn't be able to tell at all. I keep saying "I should feel something, right?" That was until yesterday. I thought I might have felt something strange and my mindset switched to "no, there's no way I could feel that this soon!"

Friday afternoon, I started feeling these little twinge-y pains in what felt like my ovaries. The same feeling I had when I was on the stims medication. I looked it up online (always a reliable source) and found story after story of how other women have felt these same things during their 2WW. Some say it is implantation pain, others say it is my ovaries starting to produce more hormones...I must be pregnant, right?!? I also woke up early this morning with my calf muscles cramping up like never before. Online it says that this can be an early sign of pregnancy, but I am not totally convinced on this one yet.

I know it is absolutely insane for me to be analyzing every little feeling I get at this moment, but I can't help it. I just have to wait around and believe I am pregnant, while also knowing that I might not be pregnant...It would drive anyone batty. Until the pregnancy test on Thursday, life goes on. We are still dealing with the progesterone shots at this point, which have proved to be a major stressor for both Brian and myself. The shots themselves really aren't that bad, but we have both had horrible dreams about these shots.

I dreamt that I tried to give myself the shot and when I checked for blood in the syringe, blood started pouring out like a lame horror movie. Brian's dream was even weirder. He dreamt that it was time to move on to the next stage of shots, where he would have to inject a live baby eel into my muscle. He said the weirdest part was that in his dream, I was totally fine with this and thought it was no big deal. While I have gotten used to the shots themselves, my backside has turned into one big, lumpy bruise. I have lumps on both sides about the size of a tennis ball. You can't really see them, but I keep making Brian "feel how big the lumps are now!" He hasn't been amused so far.

Next Thursday will be a big day for us. On top of the Pregnancy test, my good friend, Brandon, will be in town for the day from Seattle. We are going to grab lunch on his way through town to visit his brother. When Brian realized this was on the same day as the test he said "he better not know before I do!" As if I would ever do that! The nurse at The Fertility Center said if we want to know the same day as the test, I should go in the morning. Of course, I found a lab that is open at 7AM, so I can find out ASAP. Hopefully they call after I leave work for the day so I don't have to hide my excitement from my co-workers. I realize that this could be sadness, but for now I am thinking positive!

- Emily