Ultrasound #1 6 Weeks 4 days

We got to see our baby for the first time today! A little blob on the screen that we have awaited for oh-so long! Everything looks great so far and the baby is right on track. He/She is currently measuring 6 weeks and 1 day, when in reality I am 6 weeks and 4 days along. The doctor said that is still within range and it could just be how the baby is positioned.

See that little blob up on the left side?? :)

When I went in for ultrasounds of my ovaries while they were stimulating egg growth, they were just fuzzy pictures but this was so clear. We could see the heartbeat right away. It was just a little flicker up in the corner, but Brian pointed it out right away. The heartbeat is 118 beats per minute, which is right on track with how far along I am. It looks like just a tiny blob at this point, but it's incredible to think of how much he/she has grown over the past few weeks. In just a few weeks it has gone from a microscopic group of cells to the size of a blueberry and it will just keep growing as time goes on. 

I have been saying all along that I think the baby is a boy. I don't know why, I just feel like it is going to be a boy. That was until last night. I had an incredibly vivid dream that We had a baby girl with green eyes. I had a long conversation with my mom in my dream where she was explaining that the baby couldn't have green eyes because Brian and I both have blue eyes. I have no idea if that is true or not, but in my dream I believed I knew what I was talking about. That little girl was mine, green eyes and all! 

This past week I have felt sick most of the time. I have only actually thrown up a few times, but I feel like I am going to throw up all day long. I have a stash of Saltines in my nightstand, my car, my desk drawer and even my purse. Brian got me these little candies called "preggie pop drops". They are slightly sour and have essential oils that are supposed to help with the nausea. I think the sour taste just tricks your brain into focussing on something other than the nausea. They do seem to take the edge off when I'm feeling extra crappy. I'll keep the nausea if it means this baby will continue growing. Our next ultrasound is in 2 weeks and we can see how much our little blueberry has grown! 

- Emily

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and Maybe it's the hormones making me all warm and fuzzy, but this year I have so many things to be thankful for.

I'm thankful for our parents. They have been so incredibly supportive throughout this entire process. They have celebrated with us when things went our way and listened to us when things got hard. It has been so great to see the excitement they share for our good news and has really been uplifting to Brian and I.  When the baby arrives we know we will have a great emotional support system when the sleep deprivation kicks in.

I am thankful for our families and friends. We have the most incredible support system and knowing so many people were rooting for us and praying for us. I am also thankful for all the people who we don't even know who have taken an interest in our journey. This blog has been read over 4500 times by people all over the world, even as far as Russia and Kenya. I don't even know anyone who lives in most of these places! I am thankful that the internet connects us all so easily and I hope that someday this blog will help someone else who may be in a similar situation.

I'm even thankful for the morning sickness that has finally kicked in because that means my body is doing what it is supposed to! I had a moment the other day where I freaked out that the tests may have all been wrong and I actually wasn't pregnant. I wasn't feeling sick and I didn't have any of the other normal symptoms other than sleepiness. I actually went as far as to take a home pregnancy test just to ease my mind. It said I was pregnant and I went on with my day. I am sure at some point I will change my mind, but for now I am thankful for the nausea...and saltines!

Finally, I'm thankful for this baby growing inside my belly. I'm thankful that this child will be given a chance to grow up without the constant pain that his or her father lives with every day. I have an app on my phone that tells me how big the baby is and each day it says how the baby is developing and growing. It has been so cool to see how each day it is different. This week he or she started growing little nubs where their arms and eyes will be. and is about the size of a peppercorn. Soon we will be able to hear the heartbeat and actually see an ultrasound picture of our baby.

I hope everyone has someone to spend thanksgiving with and please find something to be thankful for.

- Emily

5 weeks Pregnant: No More Injections!

Tomorrow I will officially be 5 weeks pregnant and I feel great! I haven't had any nausea or bloating whatsoever. I am continuing to be extremely tired in the evenings though and I'm usually in bed by 8PM. My eyes also seem to be feeling really dry. I haven't been able to wear my contacts much at all and have switched to wearing my glasses a lot more. If I didn't already know I was pregnant, I probably would have no clue that I was pregnant!

I went in for another blood test last Friday to check how my Hcg was increasing. It had risen 136% from 174mlU/ml all the way up to 411mlu/ml. They look for it to increase by at lease 80% if not double, so this is great news! I have my first OB appointment at the fertility center on the 28th and I think we will get to hear our baby's heartbeat!

When I say I am done with injections, that does not mean I am done with the medications. I have to continue taking Progesterone until I am 11 weeks pregnant and Estrogen till I am 10 weeks pregnant. These help support the baby until the placenta is fully formed and I am through the first trimester. I really haven't had that much trouble with the progesterone injections, that is until earlier this week when my backside began to resemble something akin to an ugly pumpkin!

Yes...like that, but not orange!

I broke out in giant, red, itchy hives around each injection site. I called The Fertility Center that day and they said I had probably developed a sensitivity to the sesame oil that they put the progesterone in. Apparently this is not too uncommon. They said my next option was to try a progesterone injection with a different type of oil. They sent in the prescription for Progesterone in Ethyl Oleate hoping that a synthetic oil would help stop the hives. Only problem is my insurance will not cover anything other than sesame oil and the out of pocket cost would be around $150 for just 3 vials. I only paid $4 per vial for the Progesterone in sesame oil.

In an effort to save some money, my doctor has switched me to a vaginal capsule 3 times a day which are only $8 for 90 pills. The capsules seems like they will be annoying, but it will definitely be worth the savings. The hives seem like just a localized reaction, but they did tell me I will need to be extra careful the next time I eat anything with sesame in it. While they hope it will not be an issue, I may have developed an actual allergy to sesame. I'll just need to be careful and be aware that I may have a reaction in the future.

Switching to the capsules means I am 100% done with all of the injections!!! We started this journey back in September and My final poke count is exactly 100!! I had to have 2 pokes one day this week because I ran out of the medication before the next vial was delivered. We had to do one injection in the morning with about 1/3 of my dosage and another injection at night with the remainder.

On another note, it seems as though Renly, our dog, knows something is going on. He has been glued to my side for the past week or so and has just been super clingy. The other night he seemed like he had to go to the bathroom, so Brian got up to let him out. He ran over to my side of the bed and wouldn't budge even when Brian tried to coax him with food. Finally I got up with him and had no problem getting him to go out.

I have heard of animals acting differently when someone is pregnant, but I wouldn't think that it would happen so early. I looked up some info online and a few different articles suggest that the hormone changes cause your scent to change. Humans cant tell, but animals can sense a change and they innately become more protective of you. I like to think he is just as excited as we are and wants to protect the baby. ;)

-Emily

Pregnancy Test Results!

Our hearts are full today with wonderful news; I am pregnant!!!

I found out Wednesday morning. Yes, I know I told everyone that the blood test was scheduled for Thursday, but....I lied! I lied to everyone, including Brian! It started out as an accident where I had the calendar for a 3-day embryo transfer instead of the 5-day transfer which really is only an 8 day wait. Plus, Brian had mentioned a while ago that he was kind of sad that we wouldn't have that moment together of me surprising him with the news that I was pregnant. I thought if he already thought the test was a day later, let him believe that! So I did my best to keep him from figuring out the actual date. The day of the embryo transfer the nurse held up a paper with "November 9" written in big letters. I practically snatched it from her hands before Brian noticed the date and just went on with the plan. Later that day I wrote the blood test on our calendar on the 10th and he didn't say anything about it so I assumed he was still planning on Thursday.

I also thought it would be nice to have a cushion day in there. If the test came back positive, we would have a day to tell our families before announcing it to everyone else. If it came back negative I would have a little bit of time to gather my thoughts before people started asking about the results. I took a pregnancy test on Monday morning and it said error. I didn't even know that was a thing! It was one of the digital ones and there was an hourglass icon and a little book icon with an arrow. The pamphlet in the box said it was an error warning. I just threw it away and texted Brian that apparently I wasn't supposed to know early. A while later I wondered if the hourglass icon meant it might still show a result so I dug it out of the trash and it said "pregnant"! I was obviously excited, but I knew it might not be correct due to the error warning so I decided I still wouldn't say anything to Brian.

I got to the lab super early Wednesday morning, just hoping they were open early that day! I sat in my car and flipped through channels trying to find a station that wasn't talking about the election and finally ran inside when I saw someone else go in early. I was in and out in 15 minutes and the lady who drew my blood said I should know in a few hours.

Finally, my phone rang at 10:30am and it was Ashley! I could hear it on her voice that she had good news. I walked out of the office and took the call in the hallway but I'm pretty sure everyone in the building heard me yell" oh my gosh, really?!?!" It seemed like she took forever to finally just spit it out! I went back to my desk and was literally shaking from excitement. I tried to hide it from my coworkers but I'm sure they noticed something was off from 5 minutes earlier. I was anxious to get home and tell Brian the good news. I had to tell someone so on lunch I told the dog he was going to be a big brother. I told Brian right when I got home from work and he was totally surprised. Of course, we had to tell our parents right away.

We went over to my moms house and waited for her to get home from work. She rolled down the car window and i just blurted "I'm pregnant!". She lept out of the car screaming and gave us big hugs! We visited for a while and then drove to Fruitport to tell Brian's parents. They were surprised to see us at the door at 7:30pm. Brian's dad opened the door, said "what are you guys doing here?" And again I just blurted it out! I'm not very good at this whole giving big news thing. He yelled for Brian's  Mom and she started jumping up and down. It was a night of hugs, "wow's" and phone calls to family. One family member even offered to buy me a silver bucket to puke into when I start getting sick.

So, I'm pregnant! We are going to have a baby!!! I go back for another blood test on Friday to make sure my hcG levels are increasing as they should. They want them to increase by at least 80% if not double. My next appointment is November 29th and until then we will pray for our baby to continue growing strong and healthy!

Our first family photo! 

-Emily

The Two Week Wait

In IVF world, they call it the "two week wait", even though it is really only 10 days. Online IVF forums are filled with people asking IVF veterans tons of questions about what happened during their 2WW. This has made me feel a whole heck of a lot less crazy over the past 4-5 days. I have joined the club of women in their 2WW who want answers to every little thing they feel or think they might feel.

It's a strange feeling knowing that something so incredible could be going on inside my body and I could feel absolutely nothing! A baby could literally be beginning to grow and I wouldn't be able to tell at all. I keep saying "I should feel something, right?" That was until yesterday. I thought I might have felt something strange and my mindset switched to "no, there's no way I could feel that this soon!"

Friday afternoon, I started feeling these little twinge-y pains in what felt like my ovaries. The same feeling I had when I was on the stims medication. I looked it up online (always a reliable source) and found story after story of how other women have felt these same things during their 2WW. Some say it is implantation pain, others say it is my ovaries starting to produce more hormones...I must be pregnant, right?!? I also woke up early this morning with my calf muscles cramping up like never before. Online it says that this can be an early sign of pregnancy, but I am not totally convinced on this one yet.

I know it is absolutely insane for me to be analyzing every little feeling I get at this moment, but I can't help it. I just have to wait around and believe I am pregnant, while also knowing that I might not be pregnant...It would drive anyone batty. Until the pregnancy test on Thursday, life goes on. We are still dealing with the progesterone shots at this point, which have proved to be a major stressor for both Brian and myself. The shots themselves really aren't that bad, but we have both had horrible dreams about these shots.

I dreamt that I tried to give myself the shot and when I checked for blood in the syringe, blood started pouring out like a lame horror movie. Brian's dream was even weirder. He dreamt that it was time to move on to the next stage of shots, where he would have to inject a live baby eel into my muscle. He said the weirdest part was that in his dream, I was totally fine with this and thought it was no big deal. While I have gotten used to the shots themselves, my backside has turned into one big, lumpy bruise. I have lumps on both sides about the size of a tennis ball. You can't really see them, but I keep making Brian "feel how big the lumps are now!" He hasn't been amused so far.

Next Thursday will be a big day for us. On top of the Pregnancy test, my good friend, Brandon, will be in town for the day from Seattle. We are going to grab lunch on his way through town to visit his brother. When Brian realized this was on the same day as the test he said "he better not know before I do!" As if I would ever do that! The nurse at The Fertility Center said if we want to know the same day as the test, I should go in the morning. Of course, I found a lab that is open at 7AM, so I can find out ASAP. Hopefully they call after I leave work for the day so I don't have to hide my excitement from my co-workers. I realize that this could be sadness, but for now I am thinking positive!

- Emily

Embryo Transfer

IVF Cycle Day 54 : Poke Count:82

Today was the day! The day we had been anxiously anticipating for so long! Today we went in for our embryo transfer.

Sexy hospital gown selfie!

Last night was far from restful. I had a dream that they thawed all of our embryos, only one of them survived and I didn't even get pregnant. I woke up at around 3:00 this morning and I don't think I ever truly went back to sleep. I would nod off and then wake right back up again. Finally around 7:30, I decided to just get out of bed for the day. I woke Brian up at 8:00 to do my Progesterone shot and took my Valium & Estrogen at 8:15AM. We had to be at The Fertility Center at 9:15AM and the embryo transfer was scheduled for 9:45AM.

They took us right back to get changed into our gowns and went over a paper of instructions for the rest of the day. Within 5 minutes we were headed to the procedure room. They confirmed my name and date of birth and then had me confirm that we would be transferring one embryo. Dr. S let us know that they only had to thaw one embryo and they still have 3 healthy embryos frozen for future transfers! They even handed us a picture of our embryo that we got to see! It had just been thawed so the edges are pretty rough. She said as moisture continues to enter the embryo, the edges will even out.

I layed there for a minute just looking at the picture and waiting for everything to get started. Out of nowhere Brian started laughing and singing along with the music they had playing in the procedure room....Marvin Gaye's "Lets get it on". Appropriate for an embryo transfer, I think! The nurse started laughing along with him and soon we were all giggling like idiots. After only a few moments it was go time!

The nurse used an ultrasound to look at my uterus while Dr. S threaded a catheter through my cervix. Dr. S told the embryologist she was ready for the embryo and they brought it in from the lab right next door. Dr. S had us look at the monitor on the ultrasound and we saw a little white flash where the embryo was pushed out of the catheter. Dr. S said the embryo will implant into the lining of my uterus over the next few days. Then she took the catheter out and it was all over. It all happened so fast! We went to change back into our clothes and I actually asked the front desk receptionist "So, we can just go? That's it?" I expected to have to lay there for a while before we could leave. I guess I thought the embryo would fall out or something! We wound up walking out the door at 9:42AM, that's 3 minutes prior to our scheduled procedure time!

We spent most of the day at home.  Around 1PM, I got restless so we went out to grab some lunch. I was still feeling a little "off" from the Valium this morning so I layed back down when we got home. We have had so many people reach out today to let us know we are in their thoughts and prayers. We appreciate it all so so so much! The next 10 days are going to be absolute torture waiting for the blood test!

-Emily