Pregnancy Update: 10 Weeks

Today marks the beginning of the 10th week of this pregnancy. I am officially 1/4th of the way there! I'm not quite showing yet, but we started taking weekly progress pictures a few weeks ago so we can keep track of how plump I am getting!

That's just an orange peel rolled up to look like a Kumquat.

Crazy pregnancy dreams are here in full swing! I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had a dream about an argument with my mom over our baby having green eyes. I thought that was strange at the time, but that was nothing compared to some of the more recent ones. Last night I dreamt that Brian's uncle gave our baby to a giant bird and it dropped it from way up in the air. I woke up in the middle of the night extremely upset that he had given our baby to a bird. I even woke Brian up in the middle of the night and had a hard time getting back to sleep.

On a lighter note, Brian and I were talking the other day, and we realized that in all of my dreams the baby is a girl. The crazy thing is that the few dreams that Brian has had about the baby, it has also been a girl. So many women who I have spoken to said "I just knew it was a boy/girl". At first I thought it was a boy but that has gone away and now I have no idea. The dreams lead me to think it might be a girl but other than that I have no feeling one way or another. We won't be finding out any time soon as we are waiting till the baby is born to find out! At least that's the plan for now!

Last time I was at the doctor I asked him if I could take zicam while pregnant. He didn't know what that was and the resident with him said "it's that zinc cold remedy." He immediately said I could take that and shouldn't have any problems. Flash forward to this week and I have an annoying cold. I asked Brian to get me some zicam from Target while he was at work. Well, he just happened to talk to the pharmacist and she was very uncomfortable with pregnant women using Zicam. Apparently high levels of zinc have shown to cause premature birth. Plus it isn't regulated by the FDA so they don't have to say exactly what is in it. I'll be asking my doctor and a pharmacist from now on!

Other than having a cold, I feel pretty good. The nausea has gone away for the most part other than a few instances of instant upchuck. I was brushing my teeth this morning and with no warning threw up in the sink. I wasn't nauseous or anything; it just happened and it was disgusting. Certain smells are really getting to me still. Brian made french onion soup the other day and it smelled so bad to me I couldn't even sit next to him while he ate it. He did however make a great chicken noodle soup from scratch that I have had almost every day this week.

I haven't gained any weight so far, which is amazing because I have been all about the Christmas cookies lately. My work is filled with goodies brought in by caregivers and treats sent in from clients. It's really rather ridiculous how many cookies I have eaten in the past couple weeks. It hasn't seemed to have any impact on the scale though,, which I guess is normal at this point. I've read that most women don't gain any weight during their first trimester but I've also read that I should start to gain right about now. I've always struggled with my weight so being concerned that i haven't gained weight is totally new for me!

I have my first appointment with a regular OBGYN on January 4th. This is just with the nurse to get my medical history and go through office policy. My appointment with the actual Doctor is on the 11th at which point they will do another ultrasound. I'll be 13 weeks along at that point and can't wait to see how baby Retzlaff has grown!

- Emily

Ultrasound # 2 - 8 Weeks 4 Days

We got to see the baby again today and he/she is doing wonderfully! We could actually make out what the baby looks like and it doesn't just look like a blob anymore. Dr. Dodds, who did my egg retrieval, and a resident performed the ultrasound today. They joked about whether the baby looks more like a gummy bear or a weeble at this point. A few weeks ago the baby was about the size of a blueberry, even though it has grown quite a bit, we have all kind of taken a liking to calling it "blueberry". I even texted my mom the other day and said "blueberry is the size of a raspberry now!" Who knows, maybe the nickname will stick. ;)

Two little feet up in the right hand corner, two little arms on the sides and a giant head! 

Halfway through the ultrasound, Dr. Dodds asked if I had my phone. He said we were going to have some fun now that I'm almost 9 weeks. He flipped to a different screen and we could hear the baby's heartbeat! 

This ultrasound was a lot more exciting than the last one. The last ultrasound we got to see our baby for the first time, which was incredible. This one was just so much more detailed. They pointed out the umbilical cord that is forming and the yolk sac that is going away as it is no longer needed. We got to see the little arms and legs and we even saw the baby move. At one moment all four of us were exclaiming "it moved" and "did you see that". 

We all sat in an office after the ultrasound and went over everything. Once we were done, Dr. Dodds said we didn't need to come back and that I should see my regular OB in the next couple weeks. I'll stay on the Progesterone for 17 more days and the Estrogen for 10 more days. I will be happy to be done with the Progesterone! 

My morning sickness is almost completely gone and I've gotten used to the exhaustion. Being overly tired is just a normal part of my day at this point, My boobs hurt really bad and they seem to have grown a bit...which was unnecessary as far as I'm concerned. I know it's all part of the incredible process of creating another human being. 

While I am happy to be far enough along in my pregnancy to see a regular doctor, It is definitely bittersweet to say goodbye to the staff at The Fertility Center. They have been there along this whole journey with us and they all seem genuinely excited when things go right for their patients. I'll have to drop off some Christmas cookies for everyone in the next couple weeks. 

-Emily

Ultrasound #1 6 Weeks 4 days

We got to see our baby for the first time today! A little blob on the screen that we have awaited for oh-so long! Everything looks great so far and the baby is right on track. He/She is currently measuring 6 weeks and 1 day, when in reality I am 6 weeks and 4 days along. The doctor said that is still within range and it could just be how the baby is positioned.

See that little blob up on the left side?? :)

When I went in for ultrasounds of my ovaries while they were stimulating egg growth, they were just fuzzy pictures but this was so clear. We could see the heartbeat right away. It was just a little flicker up in the corner, but Brian pointed it out right away. The heartbeat is 118 beats per minute, which is right on track with how far along I am. It looks like just a tiny blob at this point, but it's incredible to think of how much he/she has grown over the past few weeks. In just a few weeks it has gone from a microscopic group of cells to the size of a blueberry and it will just keep growing as time goes on. 

I have been saying all along that I think the baby is a boy. I don't know why, I just feel like it is going to be a boy. That was until last night. I had an incredibly vivid dream that We had a baby girl with green eyes. I had a long conversation with my mom in my dream where she was explaining that the baby couldn't have green eyes because Brian and I both have blue eyes. I have no idea if that is true or not, but in my dream I believed I knew what I was talking about. That little girl was mine, green eyes and all! 

This past week I have felt sick most of the time. I have only actually thrown up a few times, but I feel like I am going to throw up all day long. I have a stash of Saltines in my nightstand, my car, my desk drawer and even my purse. Brian got me these little candies called "preggie pop drops". They are slightly sour and have essential oils that are supposed to help with the nausea. I think the sour taste just tricks your brain into focussing on something other than the nausea. They do seem to take the edge off when I'm feeling extra crappy. I'll keep the nausea if it means this baby will continue growing. Our next ultrasound is in 2 weeks and we can see how much our little blueberry has grown! 

- Emily

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and Maybe it's the hormones making me all warm and fuzzy, but this year I have so many things to be thankful for.

I'm thankful for our parents. They have been so incredibly supportive throughout this entire process. They have celebrated with us when things went our way and listened to us when things got hard. It has been so great to see the excitement they share for our good news and has really been uplifting to Brian and I.  When the baby arrives we know we will have a great emotional support system when the sleep deprivation kicks in.

I am thankful for our families and friends. We have the most incredible support system and knowing so many people were rooting for us and praying for us. I am also thankful for all the people who we don't even know who have taken an interest in our journey. This blog has been read over 4500 times by people all over the world, even as far as Russia and Kenya. I don't even know anyone who lives in most of these places! I am thankful that the internet connects us all so easily and I hope that someday this blog will help someone else who may be in a similar situation.

I'm even thankful for the morning sickness that has finally kicked in because that means my body is doing what it is supposed to! I had a moment the other day where I freaked out that the tests may have all been wrong and I actually wasn't pregnant. I wasn't feeling sick and I didn't have any of the other normal symptoms other than sleepiness. I actually went as far as to take a home pregnancy test just to ease my mind. It said I was pregnant and I went on with my day. I am sure at some point I will change my mind, but for now I am thankful for the nausea...and saltines!

Finally, I'm thankful for this baby growing inside my belly. I'm thankful that this child will be given a chance to grow up without the constant pain that his or her father lives with every day. I have an app on my phone that tells me how big the baby is and each day it says how the baby is developing and growing. It has been so cool to see how each day it is different. This week he or she started growing little nubs where their arms and eyes will be. and is about the size of a peppercorn. Soon we will be able to hear the heartbeat and actually see an ultrasound picture of our baby.

I hope everyone has someone to spend thanksgiving with and please find something to be thankful for.

- Emily

5 weeks Pregnant: No More Injections!

Tomorrow I will officially be 5 weeks pregnant and I feel great! I haven't had any nausea or bloating whatsoever. I am continuing to be extremely tired in the evenings though and I'm usually in bed by 8PM. My eyes also seem to be feeling really dry. I haven't been able to wear my contacts much at all and have switched to wearing my glasses a lot more. If I didn't already know I was pregnant, I probably would have no clue that I was pregnant!

I went in for another blood test last Friday to check how my Hcg was increasing. It had risen 136% from 174mlU/ml all the way up to 411mlu/ml. They look for it to increase by at lease 80% if not double, so this is great news! I have my first OB appointment at the fertility center on the 28th and I think we will get to hear our baby's heartbeat!

When I say I am done with injections, that does not mean I am done with the medications. I have to continue taking Progesterone until I am 11 weeks pregnant and Estrogen till I am 10 weeks pregnant. These help support the baby until the placenta is fully formed and I am through the first trimester. I really haven't had that much trouble with the progesterone injections, that is until earlier this week when my backside began to resemble something akin to an ugly pumpkin!

Yes...like that, but not orange!

I broke out in giant, red, itchy hives around each injection site. I called The Fertility Center that day and they said I had probably developed a sensitivity to the sesame oil that they put the progesterone in. Apparently this is not too uncommon. They said my next option was to try a progesterone injection with a different type of oil. They sent in the prescription for Progesterone in Ethyl Oleate hoping that a synthetic oil would help stop the hives. Only problem is my insurance will not cover anything other than sesame oil and the out of pocket cost would be around $150 for just 3 vials. I only paid $4 per vial for the Progesterone in sesame oil.

In an effort to save some money, my doctor has switched me to a vaginal capsule 3 times a day which are only $8 for 90 pills. The capsules seems like they will be annoying, but it will definitely be worth the savings. The hives seem like just a localized reaction, but they did tell me I will need to be extra careful the next time I eat anything with sesame in it. While they hope it will not be an issue, I may have developed an actual allergy to sesame. I'll just need to be careful and be aware that I may have a reaction in the future.

Switching to the capsules means I am 100% done with all of the injections!!! We started this journey back in September and My final poke count is exactly 100!! I had to have 2 pokes one day this week because I ran out of the medication before the next vial was delivered. We had to do one injection in the morning with about 1/3 of my dosage and another injection at night with the remainder.

On another note, it seems as though Renly, our dog, knows something is going on. He has been glued to my side for the past week or so and has just been super clingy. The other night he seemed like he had to go to the bathroom, so Brian got up to let him out. He ran over to my side of the bed and wouldn't budge even when Brian tried to coax him with food. Finally I got up with him and had no problem getting him to go out.

I have heard of animals acting differently when someone is pregnant, but I wouldn't think that it would happen so early. I looked up some info online and a few different articles suggest that the hormone changes cause your scent to change. Humans cant tell, but animals can sense a change and they innately become more protective of you. I like to think he is just as excited as we are and wants to protect the baby. ;)

-Emily

Pregnancy Test Results!

Our hearts are full today with wonderful news; I am pregnant!!!

I found out Wednesday morning. Yes, I know I told everyone that the blood test was scheduled for Thursday, but....I lied! I lied to everyone, including Brian! It started out as an accident where I had the calendar for a 3-day embryo transfer instead of the 5-day transfer which really is only an 8 day wait. Plus, Brian had mentioned a while ago that he was kind of sad that we wouldn't have that moment together of me surprising him with the news that I was pregnant. I thought if he already thought the test was a day later, let him believe that! So I did my best to keep him from figuring out the actual date. The day of the embryo transfer the nurse held up a paper with "November 9" written in big letters. I practically snatched it from her hands before Brian noticed the date and just went on with the plan. Later that day I wrote the blood test on our calendar on the 10th and he didn't say anything about it so I assumed he was still planning on Thursday.

I also thought it would be nice to have a cushion day in there. If the test came back positive, we would have a day to tell our families before announcing it to everyone else. If it came back negative I would have a little bit of time to gather my thoughts before people started asking about the results. I took a pregnancy test on Monday morning and it said error. I didn't even know that was a thing! It was one of the digital ones and there was an hourglass icon and a little book icon with an arrow. The pamphlet in the box said it was an error warning. I just threw it away and texted Brian that apparently I wasn't supposed to know early. A while later I wondered if the hourglass icon meant it might still show a result so I dug it out of the trash and it said "pregnant"! I was obviously excited, but I knew it might not be correct due to the error warning so I decided I still wouldn't say anything to Brian.

I got to the lab super early Wednesday morning, just hoping they were open early that day! I sat in my car and flipped through channels trying to find a station that wasn't talking about the election and finally ran inside when I saw someone else go in early. I was in and out in 15 minutes and the lady who drew my blood said I should know in a few hours.

Finally, my phone rang at 10:30am and it was Ashley! I could hear it on her voice that she had good news. I walked out of the office and took the call in the hallway but I'm pretty sure everyone in the building heard me yell" oh my gosh, really?!?!" It seemed like she took forever to finally just spit it out! I went back to my desk and was literally shaking from excitement. I tried to hide it from my coworkers but I'm sure they noticed something was off from 5 minutes earlier. I was anxious to get home and tell Brian the good news. I had to tell someone so on lunch I told the dog he was going to be a big brother. I told Brian right when I got home from work and he was totally surprised. Of course, we had to tell our parents right away.

We went over to my moms house and waited for her to get home from work. She rolled down the car window and i just blurted "I'm pregnant!". She lept out of the car screaming and gave us big hugs! We visited for a while and then drove to Fruitport to tell Brian's parents. They were surprised to see us at the door at 7:30pm. Brian's dad opened the door, said "what are you guys doing here?" And again I just blurted it out! I'm not very good at this whole giving big news thing. He yelled for Brian's  Mom and she started jumping up and down. It was a night of hugs, "wow's" and phone calls to family. One family member even offered to buy me a silver bucket to puke into when I start getting sick.

So, I'm pregnant! We are going to have a baby!!! I go back for another blood test on Friday to make sure my hcG levels are increasing as they should. They want them to increase by at least 80% if not double. My next appointment is November 29th and until then we will pray for our baby to continue growing strong and healthy!

Our first family photo! 

-Emily

The Two Week Wait

In IVF world, they call it the "two week wait", even though it is really only 10 days. Online IVF forums are filled with people asking IVF veterans tons of questions about what happened during their 2WW. This has made me feel a whole heck of a lot less crazy over the past 4-5 days. I have joined the club of women in their 2WW who want answers to every little thing they feel or think they might feel.

It's a strange feeling knowing that something so incredible could be going on inside my body and I could feel absolutely nothing! A baby could literally be beginning to grow and I wouldn't be able to tell at all. I keep saying "I should feel something, right?" That was until yesterday. I thought I might have felt something strange and my mindset switched to "no, there's no way I could feel that this soon!"

Friday afternoon, I started feeling these little twinge-y pains in what felt like my ovaries. The same feeling I had when I was on the stims medication. I looked it up online (always a reliable source) and found story after story of how other women have felt these same things during their 2WW. Some say it is implantation pain, others say it is my ovaries starting to produce more hormones...I must be pregnant, right?!? I also woke up early this morning with my calf muscles cramping up like never before. Online it says that this can be an early sign of pregnancy, but I am not totally convinced on this one yet.

I know it is absolutely insane for me to be analyzing every little feeling I get at this moment, but I can't help it. I just have to wait around and believe I am pregnant, while also knowing that I might not be pregnant...It would drive anyone batty. Until the pregnancy test on Thursday, life goes on. We are still dealing with the progesterone shots at this point, which have proved to be a major stressor for both Brian and myself. The shots themselves really aren't that bad, but we have both had horrible dreams about these shots.

I dreamt that I tried to give myself the shot and when I checked for blood in the syringe, blood started pouring out like a lame horror movie. Brian's dream was even weirder. He dreamt that it was time to move on to the next stage of shots, where he would have to inject a live baby eel into my muscle. He said the weirdest part was that in his dream, I was totally fine with this and thought it was no big deal. While I have gotten used to the shots themselves, my backside has turned into one big, lumpy bruise. I have lumps on both sides about the size of a tennis ball. You can't really see them, but I keep making Brian "feel how big the lumps are now!" He hasn't been amused so far.

Next Thursday will be a big day for us. On top of the Pregnancy test, my good friend, Brandon, will be in town for the day from Seattle. We are going to grab lunch on his way through town to visit his brother. When Brian realized this was on the same day as the test he said "he better not know before I do!" As if I would ever do that! The nurse at The Fertility Center said if we want to know the same day as the test, I should go in the morning. Of course, I found a lab that is open at 7AM, so I can find out ASAP. Hopefully they call after I leave work for the day so I don't have to hide my excitement from my co-workers. I realize that this could be sadness, but for now I am thinking positive!

- Emily